Bad Night

I’ve been pretty good about avoiding the alcohol lately. I recognized that I could have a problem with it.  Honestly, I’ve known that I have a problem with it. Namely, I like it too much.

However, this evening was not a good one. In fact, it was the most stressful I’ve had in awhile.

I had some hints from the Universe to not stop for liquid comfort:  My mom mentioning that she, too, felt like stopping for wine on the way back from our dinner tonight, but decided “it was not the right thing to do”. 

At her house, however, she went straight for the rum to add to her coca-cola.  We both shared a laugh about her going for the hard stuff.

There was a cheerleader in my head yelling “you can resist!”.  I decided to throw the finger at that cheerleader.

The men in my life are pushing my buttons.

My husband. My father. My son. 

All good men. But damn if they aren’t making me mad.

I know that wine won’t solve my issues. I know.

Maybe I do need an AA Mentor.

Yeah. Tonight was rough. 

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One comment

  1. I do think wayyy more people “have a problem” than will admit it. Those people that either can’t cope or enjoy anything without it may need to rethink alcohol. They probably won’t. And it may never actually become an obvious, intervention-worthy problem for most of them. Maybe AA and things are for people who are truly and frequently risking everything with their drinking. Not that everyone who wants some support shouldn’t reach out for sponsor or friend, but perhaps labeling oneself as an alcoholic unnecessarily would do more harm to the psyche than good. But deciding that this isn’t working for you and putting on the brakes will keep you feeling in control, instead of like you have lost control already and have to admit it to the world. You still have the wheel, just park it for a while so it stays that way.

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