Second Thoughts

The drudgery of a new day. Gray, cold, wet, muddy, mucky day. Facing the knowledge that I’ve set myself up again with my wine-fueled, manic, grand, intentions to write everyday. One more lurking thing to hang over my head, ready to vomit guilt all over me the minute it goes unattended.
I woke up to the blather of the television set, checked in on the blather of the internet, and asked myself if I really thought any good would come of adding more blather to it all. The answer was an ego-deflating “Absolutely not”. (Not that my ego was huge enough to emit much air as it decreased, mind you…)
And yet, here I am.
Right.
Waiting for the other unattended, too long neglected, things I have hanging over my head to spew their bile over me for ignoring them to do this.
And what, exactly, IS this that I’m doing?
Just thinking out loud at the moment. Listening to one of my cats snore contentedly behind the computer screen and becoming envious of him. Wishing (my sincere apologies!) that I had not drunkenly mentioned to a few dear friends of mine that I’d started this thing that will, most likely, go absolutely nowhere and provide absolutely nothing interesting or enlightening to anyone’s day.
And yet, here I still sit.
Right.
Snippets are all I can handle right now.
I’m off in an attempt to wash away some of the spewage (that’s right, auto-correct; it’s my blog and I’ll make up words if I want to) that’s dripping down on me.

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5 comments

      1. I feel the same way about it….it’s the truth, putting a nice spin on it is just BS and I’m not dumb enough to be able to so obviously lie to myself. And yeah I suck at lying anyways. Why has that been a bad thing in my life? I’m gonna blame society on that one, ’cause you can’t tell me that’s the way it should be.

        Can’t make this s*** up!

  1. But to the actual points…

    I have a title for a blog post for ya…. “If you can’t do something obsessively, don’t do anything at all”. Sums up our (familial) tendencies don’t you think? While you certainly don’t have to write every day, you know if you don’t, you may not at all. But then it becomes obligatory, and the fun decreases. Big ass catch-22. But save the guilt for dirty dishes. No one’s needs are left unattended by skipping the blog but your own. And when you need to write, you have a venue.

    And a family member to leave too many comments about it xD

  2. Ha! Andrea, that does sum it up!! And it’s funny how Catch-22 has always been one of my favorite books. Thank you for putting things into perspective too 🙂

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